Piece of Puckleberry Pie: A Drabble Collection
by katididaloo
Summary: A collection of drabbles I've written. Some canon. Some non-canon. Some serious. Most non-serious. Mostly a collection of silly things that are under 2k words. ALL Puckleberry.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! This was written for Day One of Puckleberry Week on tumblr. A deleted scene from 1X1 "Pilot"

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"_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster!" _

Puck took a deep breath, feeling that barely imperceptible increase in the intensity of his heart beat that always came with singing. He'd never admit it to anyone, cause shit, he was a stone cold badass, but he kind of really loved singing. And the only way he really got to do it was in the shower at home and in his truck alone. That's why Monday evenings were super awesome for him. He sat out in his truck in front of the Dance Motion center in the outskirts of Lima, waiting for his little sister to finish her "little ducks" beginners ballet.

He was always there early, so he had plenty of time to rock out all by himself. He checked the rear view mirror and put his best rockstar expression on before belting his favorite part of the song.

"_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck, than any boy you'll ever meet..."_

"Noah?"

Puck jumped in his seat, slamming his head against the top of his truck as he looked down at the intruder on his _me_ time. He glared with the full on fury of the Puckasaurus, ready to murder whoever it was in exchange for blissful silence. No way was a radio sing-a-long (no matter how amazing) was going to ruin his rep. Standing a few steps away from his driver's door was Rachel Berry. The girl who used to be his friend before they actually met people outside their temple. His ma and her dads got along pretty well, and he was sure Hiram Berry would probably break his arms if he found out about the slushies. And then Leroy would tell his ma and he would be legit _murdered and buried in his back yard_.

And here she was, adding more ammunition to her possible blackmail folder. Slushies, teasing at school, and now...

"That was-vulgar, but..."

"Get stuffed, Berry," Puck grumbled.

"Your voice is quite amazing!" Rachel exclaimed, her eyes as wide as saucers. "Noah, you have a lovely tenor range and spectacular tone! And the pitch is..."

"Oh my God, you're going to kidnap me and keep me under your bed," Puck muttered, looking at her in extreme fear. She rolled her eyes at him and he shrugged, "You can kidnap me and keep me IN your bed."

"Ugh," Rachel scoffed. "The day I let you willingly touch me...is...is..."

"Getting all hot under your collar thinking about letting me touch you, huh?" Puck turned on the sudden charm that had melted many a hot housewives' panties.

Rachel pursed her lips and adjusted the bag full of dance gear that was sitting on her shoulder. She buried the internal shiver Puck's teasing always seemed to generate, no matter how much her very logical brain told her to hate this boy who may have been her childhood friend, but now was nothing more than her tormenter. It was some sort of twisted Stockholm syndrome, or something equally as terrifying. She wanted nothing to do with him, really. Certainly not let him touch her with those...hands, and long fingers and...

She shook her head just once to shake her thoughts clear and re-focused her mind on what was important. Building an amazing Glee club, using in her multi-pronged plan to become a star, and then rub her amazingness in Noah Puckerman's and every else's face.

"Mr. Schuester is holding Glee club auditions tomorrow. You should try-out," Rachel insisted, business-like and serious. Puck burst out into hysterical laughter and Rachel rolled her eyes as he clutched at his sides and wheezed for air in between choking laughter. "I can tell that you love to sing. I KNOW that you love to play the guitar. And you're quite good at both. We could build an amazing club together, Noah."

"We could also have some fucking FANTASTIC Jew sex, and I don't see that happening," Puck arched a sexy eyebrow.

"I have trump cards, Noah. And I'm not afraid to use them in order to get what I want," Rachel insisted primly, steadfastly ignoring the pure sex oozing out of him and straight at her. It seemed impossible that one high school sophomore should have that much charisma and sexual appeal.

"We can both get what we want, Princess," Puck shrugged, now _waggling _an eyebrow at her. "You...me...your frilly little four poster twin bed in your sunshine yellow room...lights out, hands all over your rocking ass...my mouth sucking on your-"

"NOAH!" Rachel hissed, her cheeks flaming red. She could feel her pulse pounding so hard and so loud that he MUST have heard it too. She stamped her foot in frustration and screamed, "FORGET IT!"

She stormed away, leaving Noah to sing his favorite line again, louder and seemingly more sultry than before, "_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck, than any boy you'll ever meet..."_

Noah was a last resort. Rachel intrinsically knew that she wouldn't last two weeks of rehearsal with him before his constant teasing and admittedly sexy voice beguiled her into losing her panties. There had to be someone else.

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Thanks for stopping by!


	2. Chapter 2

Puckleberry Week Day Two: Puckleberry as children. (my personal fav to read and write)

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"NANA C! NANA C! NANA CONNNNNNNNNNIE!"

Connie Puckerman looked up at her only grandson with an indulgent smile. It quickly faded into her signature smirk however as she stared at the hyperactive five year old, wild brown curls windblown and sticking up at all angles, his cheeks flushed and his big hazel eyes fairly _sparkling_ with excitement as he jumped up and down with limitless energy. Connie reached down and ruffled his definitely overgrown hair and clicked her tongue disapprovingly,

"Bubbala, you have to calm down. We don't need to shout in the house unless its to get Grandpa to do something for us."

"But NAAAAAANNNNA," Noah whined at her. "I gots the best news."

The doorbell rang and Noah jumped again in the air, fist pumping as he went.

"SHE'S HERE!" he shouted at the top of her lungs. His words were rushed as he pushed on the back of his grandmother's knees anxiously, moving her towards the front door with all of his strength. "Nana we have so much stuff to do now that she's here, she's going to teach me a song and how to read music from dad's sheets and then we're going to play Rapunzel so that I can climb up the tree and you have to make the special cookies when we're playing cause she don't eat eggs or hamburger or cheese!"

"NOAH!" Connie laughed as he expelled all of his words in a rush in less than three seconds. She opened the door with a laugh on her lips and smiled at the new arrivals. "I think our guest is influencing the way this little boy talks. I swear little Miss Sweet Berry, before you came around, Noah only _grunted_."

"She brings out the very best in people," Hiram Berry patted Rachel's head fondly. "Go play sweetie..."

Rachel didn't need to be told, and Noah certainly didn't, as he grabbed her by both hands and ran away into the house with her, the two of them instantly jabbering together. Hiram and Connie laughed at the happy children. Rachel and her Dad's had landed in Lima two months ago, and had gone to temple for the first time one month ago. And after one hour in the Temple's day care center together, Noah had declared Rachel the best thing since Batman. And the kid _loved_ Batman. To her credit, Rachel had "written" five musicals all starring her and Noah since they had met. Previous stars of her musicals had only been her, and her dads.

"You know, he brings out really great qualities in Rachel, too," Hiram admitted. "She's mature for her age, and just never connected with other kids before."

"Soulmates, Hirey. They're soulmates," Connie promised.

"Let's not marry her off so soon," Hiram chuckled, running a suddenly nervous hand under his chin. "I'd like my little girl to stay my little girl for the next fifteen years or so."

"Good luck with that," Connie muttered, cleverly omitting what had happened last Tuesday when she had walked in on a game of pretend where Rachel was a sleeping princess and Noah was the rescuing prince. She smirked. Noah definitely took after her husband.

"Well, thanks again for taking Rachel in, Leroy and I really appreciate the date night," Jerome hugged the woman who had practically adopted his little family with nary a raised eyebrow at their unusual family.

"Have fun," Connie insisted. She waved him off and shouted out mischievously, "USE PROTECTION!"

Connie ignored the nervous stammering and went into the living room, where Rachel was instructing Noah on how to properly place all the couch cushions in the house to construct a proper stage. She ignored the need to nag about making a mess and silently observed the playing children from the doorway.

"My gramps got a guitar, and he tuned it before he left for work," Noah revealed. "Cause my hands can't tune it right yet, cause they're too small. Not that they're small, they just aren't grown up hands. I mean, YOU have tiny little hands. I've got manly hands that can build stages."

"You do a wonderful job," Rachel nodded. She handed him the last cushion and ordered sweetly, "Please place this there."

"Rachel? When you're done defeating Broadway, what do you wanna do?" Noah wondered curiously. "Cause you could tell people how to build stages."

"That seems nice," Rachel shrugged. "I can be on Broadway forever."

"YOU CAN? BUT...Gramps is gonna retire soon and he's so excited. Some day you should retire and then you can be like Nana and watch our grandkids."

Connie bit her knuckle to hide her squeals of glee as Rachel thoughtfully considered this option.

"I would like to be retired sometimes," Rachel said diplomatically. "But sometimes you can watch the grandkids while I stop retiring for a show or reunion special."

"Okay," Noah nodded "What else do you wanna do though? Cause I'm gonna fish with gramps when I'm retired. And eat loads of Nana's cookies."

"OH! I KNOW!" Rachel clapped her hands together excitedly. She started to rush towards the staircase before running back and grabbing his hand, yanking him along the way.

Connie let them to their fun games and went about starting a vegan acceptable kosher meal. She had started the cookies too, when thundering footsteps echoed throughout the house from the second floor.

"NANA! NANA! LOOK WHAT RACHEL DID!" Noah shrieked in excitement. "IT'S AWESOME!"

Noah punched the swinging kitchen door open and jumped over the threshold, placing his hands on his waist and posing proudly. He shook his head back and forth violently and grinned. A few hours ago, large unruly curls would have flown this way and that. But no more.

Little Noah Puckerman had a very inexpertly done mohawk.

Rachel stood at the open door, her hands clasped in front of her, a guilty look on her face.

"I wanted to try to be a hairdresser like Aunt Cheryl when I'm retired," Rachel said very quietly. "I wanted to make his hair nice but...it's..."

"IT'S BADASS!" Noah screamed. "NANA C, I'M BADASS NOW!"

"Oh Rachel, sweetpea. You did a _great_ job," Connie reassured her. "Now, you have to promise that you'll be able to do this for him all the time. Hair grows, you know."

"Oh yes, I will!" Rachel nodded happily. "Forever and ever!"

"TOGETHER FOREVER BADASS!" Noah danced around excitedly.

Connie couldn't help but grin. "I love the sound of that, kids. I'll hold you to it."

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